The original song* by Fizzy Barstool, Dance Wiv Me *not original

• 2/4/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Why you shouldn't let Chris have a drink on a Thursday. Lyrics: I never even knew her name It was always just Mrs D I met her when we were at school And I came round to yours for tea But last night, you were out And she asked me to come in And then it happened suddenly On top of your ironing I kissed your mum and I like it The taste of old womens lipstick I used my tongue just to try it I hope you and your dad dont mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Your mums quite hot in a certain light I kissed your mum and I like it. I liked it That day when I didnt show for work, Was with your mum at Tescos She even lifted up her shirt, By the jersey royal potatoes Yeah shes quite old, and wrinkly too But her lips felt just like silk And she got a ladder in her tights, By the semi skimmed milk I kissed your Mum and I liked it, While we were watching countdown I used my tongue just to try it Next week well get your gran round I know its wrong, But it feels so right, Guess you and I wont be going out Friday night Your mum she is so beautiful Soft lips, dodgy hip, and a bit of stubble Cant use the bath cos she wont fit She uses , the shower, Aint no big deal at least shes clean I kissed your mum and l liked it, While you were playing Xbox We used your bed just to try it, I didnt even take off my socks, It felt so wrong, But it felt so right, But I hope you and I are still alright Cos I bedded your mum and I liked it I liked it

• 1/9/09
• Comments: 1
• Votes: 2

Chris Cohen's coverage of the Olympic Games.

• 1/9/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Chris Cohen's take on Bargain Hunt.

• 1/9/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Angus and Rachel have a Facebook related disagreement.

• 1/9/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Another everyday saga solved by the magical Jeremy Kyle

• 1/9/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Chris Cohen live on Setanta Sports News at Christmas

• 1/9/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Lyrics copyright 'ChrisCohenMusic' 2008 Music copyright 'The Jam' 2008 One for the Palace fans! Lyrics On Saturdays down at Selhurst Park- We'll have a drink and a moan Looking -back to all those rosey days ..

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Oh baby, I see you looking at me on your swivelly chair by the till You want me don't ya? I was in the supermarket just the other day The Supermarket baby --

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 2

A private video/audio recording of some highlights from Chris' set at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon, alongside Kevin Day and Jo Brand to support East Surrey Cancer Research.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

See part two of the High Vis Jacket man's tribute song.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 1
• Votes: 1

Chris Cohen's professional horse racing commentary showreel.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 1
• Votes: 2

See Chris perform the hit song from the 'Off the Woodwork' EP, The Language, live in London. The EP and this song are now available to buy on iTunes!

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 2
• Votes: 4

To celebrate Chris making it through to the live show at http://www.bbc.co.uk/upstaged , enjoy this clip from his headline show at Dingwalls, London.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 2

It's a hard old life living in the UK Things seem to get much harder with every day It's no surprise most people are moving away…

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

The biggest and longest song yet.. all 222 Premier League players in one song. It's long, it's strong, it's soft and it's wrong.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

A song for the new man at the helm at Chelsea.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

So John Terry didn't make the European Championships and Claude did... here's his letter to Maka...

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Chris' set at the Monkey Business Comedy Club in London.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

This is a song for all the Luigi's out there. Happy New Year to you all!

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Come on the Rams!

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

I thought I'd write this song for every person who's other half doesn't understand the true meaning of Evo.

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Right from the start, you never had it in your heart When you left the Riverside, The English nation sighed…

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 2

A song for the cheeky winker

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Just realised I rhymed back with back in the first verse.. I'm a moron! Just a quick, rough, messy song encapsulating the Premier League up until this point!

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

Rafa, we want you to stay!

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

It's finally here West Ham fans!

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1

For the three people who requested it, it's the Brad and Stacey song......

• 1/8/09
• Comments: 0
• Votes: 1